Was Orange Julius really just vanilla ice cream and orange juice? Because I’m having a tough time reconciling that. Like, Hot Dog on a Stick, I get that- I mean, not the uniforms… raindow chefs hats? Come on. I’m no fashionista, but that’s just gouche.

Anyways, maybe we should all just get a corndog and relax, okay?

Remember Craigslist? It was the Costco of the early internet, only instead of truck tires and a barrel of peanuts you could peruse the virtual aisles and go home with a lightly-worn dorm futon and a small man with a clown fetish. Or, sometimes you just want an exercise bike because your wife has started putting makeup on before the UPS guy comes by.